100 increments of goal setting

I don't talk about this much publicly. It's not that I am ashamed of it, a lot of people close to me know the story. It's just that I am not great at talking about myself. Also, I generally worry about intermingling my "professional" life with my "personal" self.

I decided to write this in a public forum because of some recent feedback I received. I want to be clear, this wasn't feedback from my job. Boats Group has been a wonderful part of my career journey. This was professional feedback from a different source. I was told that I didn't inspire.

When I finished my undergrad work, I weighed almost 300lbs (136kg or 21 stone). At 6'5" (~2m), I'm a "tall" person. Not an NFL lineman; at 300, there was very little muscle involved. I struggled to lose weight. I set goals (and New Year's resolutions), but the best I could do was ~5%.

Then my wife became pregnant with my first child. The thought of being a dad kept me up to the small hours of the night. What kind of dad would I be? What kind of example did I want to set?

One of those nights, I saw an infomercial for an exercise program. The 90 second spot didn't make a lot of promises. It said one thing that caught me and still sticks with me over a decade later: "Do your best, forget the rest" (thanks Tony Horton)

Right then and there, I decided that I wanted to be "Superman" for my kids (btw. this is the inspiration for my public profile banner and my GitHub username.) I knew that I wanted change. Over the next several years, with the help of friends, family, and colleagues, I changed my own narrative. I lost 100lbs (~45kg) and it hasn't come back.

Goal setting is an intimately personal, but ultimately shared experience.

That adventure gave me better tools and language to understand goal setting. I still use these tools today whether I coach teams, mentor directs, or engage with friends. Goal setting is an intimately personal, but ultimately shared experience. You need to pick tiny increments. You will make mistakes. You will go down a path and change your mind. You will miss the mark and circle back around. Celebrate every win, celebrate every mistake. Wins and losses will push you forward. Don't focus on the destination, focus on the increments. Every once in a while step back and look at how far you've come but don't let it overwhelm you. Enlist others to help. You don't have to provide all of the forward momentum. I was motivated by the desire to be a "better" version of myself for my family.

Thanks for reading. If my words help even one person, cool. If not, also cool.

P.S. To this day, I disappear from my job at 2pm to exercise. "Thank you" to every boss I've had that gave me space in my day for this routine: Vigi Kurvilla, Singlee Murray, Jeremy McGee

This article originally appeared on LinkedIn: 100 increments of goal setting