...and it was glorious!

I bombed an interview and, like the title says, it was glorious

Previously, I posted about not repeating year one. The hard part about that goal is you either need an external point of view or supreme self-awareness to succeed. I can look back on my early stage career as a developer and clearly see where I was repeating myself. As a manager, the picture is less clear.

A little while ago, I was being interviewed for a dev. manager role. This was round two or three in the process. It consisted of two scenario/play-acting sections where I had to give difficult feedback to a live "employee" (actor). In one scenario, I was asked to give feedback to a junior developer who was avoiding conflict. In another scenario, I was asked to give feedback to a developer who was not as senior as they viewed themselves. No, I am not great at improv/acting.

It was not going well. In fact, it was a train wreck. I knew that I was doing poorly, they knew that I was doing poorly. We wrapped up, said our thank yous, and went on with our lives. I already had a few follow-up sessions scheduled with the same company, but I knew they would get cancelled. I bowed out of the rest of the interview process gracefully.

I learned a lot about myself in those 65 minutes. I realized that I didn't have a complete language to describe how I connect with people. I didn't have the language to describe some aspects of who I am as a manager and leader. I realized that there was still some part of me that would rather be "liked" than "honest." Spoiler: honesty can be painful AND kind, but it has to come from a place of caring.

I am intentionally not mentioning who interviewed me or for which organization. That part isn't important. What may have felt like a waste of their time was a tremendous inflection point for me. This is my way of both sharing some insight and saying "thank you."

Remember that growth can come from the most interesting and unexpected places.

This article originally appeared on LinkedIn: ...and it was glorious!